Kink

Kink is an umbrella term often used to describe a wide variety of consensual relationship practices that explore enjoyable intersections of power, control, sensation, trust, vulnerability, fantasy, and intentionality.

This kind of play can be a potentially rich and satisfying way for consenting adults to connect more profoundly with others, challenge themselves, and/or experience higher levels of intensity in their sex lives. It also tends to require a high degree of self-awareness, strong communication and negotiation skills, knowledge of safety implications, commitment to ensuring ongoing consent, availability to process what has happened afterward, and the capacity to give and receive feedback as necessary.

All of that can involve a fair bit of work, even in ongoing relationships. I have experience counselling couples who are negotiating kink, both within as well as outside of their relationship. I am knowledgeable enough to provide coaching and direction and to help you figure out where you might be getting stuck. I understand the difference between kink and abuse, and I can help you to understand any negative or unhealthy patterns that seem to reappear in your relationships.

The added vulnerability and intensity that makes kink interesting to people also tends to bring up issues around trust, trauma, and self-esteem. Working with a kink-aware and kink-positive counsellor can help you to process those issues without feeling like you need to hide or defend how you enjoy intimacy with your partners.



1505 Fell Street #2,
Victoria, BC V8R 4V9

danelle@outsidetheboxcounselling.ca
(778) 678-2293


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